Missouri Legislature Passes Bill Letting All Citizens Keep Their Taxes to Pay Mortgages Since “Everyone Boosts the Economy”
“We realized billionaires aren’t the only job creators,” said one state senator.
JEFFERSON CITY, MO — In a stunning move hailed by renters and homeowners alike, the Missouri General Assembly passed emergency legislation today declaring that, since all Missourians contribute to the state’s economy, all Missourians should be treated like billionaire sports team owners.
The new law, dubbed the “Fairness for Everyone Except Billionaires Act”, allows residents to redirect 100% of their state income and property taxes toward their mortgage payments, rent, or just “whatever they feel adds value to the community.”
“This is about equity,” said one lawmaker while adjusting his team-branded lapel pin. “If giving hundreds of millions in public money to a billionaire for ‘economic development’ is sound fiscal policy, then surely it makes even more sense to give that same courtesy to the taxpayers funding it.”