satire
Josh Hawley Courageously Defends Waste, Fraud, and Abuse to Protect You from Lower Taxes
“If seniors aren’t funding bureaucratic boondoggles, are they really American?” he asked while adjusting his Yale cufflinks.
satire
cronyism
Missouri Legislature to Launch “Missouri Vote Exchange” for Streamlined Corporate Bribery
“Going once for Big Pharma, going twice for stadium subsidies—SOLD to the PAC in the back!”
satire
Local Man Personally Responsible for Missouri’s Entire Economy After Buying Big Mac Once a Week
JEFFERSON CITY, MO — In a groundbreaking economic discovery, Missouri officials confirmed today that local citizen Jeremy Cady is the primary engine of the state economy—thanks to his weekly purchase of a Big Mac. According to a glossy new 217-page report from the Office of Creative Accounting and Selective Multipliers,
cronyism
State Budget Balanced Using Hopes, Dreams, and a 3rd Down Conversion
“There is no cost to taxpayers,” assured a senator while high-fiving a lobbyist and pointing to a spreadsheet labeled ‘Magical Revenue Streams.
cronyism
Missouri Legislature Passes Bill Letting All Citizens Keep Their Taxes to Pay Mortgages Since “Everyone Boosts the Economy”
“We realized billionaires aren’t the only job creators,” said one state senator.