satire
Josh Hawley Courageously Defends Waste, Fraud, and Abuse to Protect You from Lower Taxes
“If seniors aren’t funding bureaucratic boondoggles, are they really American?” he asked while adjusting his Yale cufflinks.
cronyism
Missouri Legislature to Launch “Missouri Vote Exchange” for Streamlined Corporate Bribery
“Going once for Big Pharma, going twice for stadium subsidies—SOLD to the PAC in the back!”
satire
Local Man Personally Responsible for Missouri’s Entire Economy After Buying Big Mac Once a Week
JEFFERSON CITY, MO — In a groundbreaking economic discovery, Missouri officials confirmed today that local citizen Jeremy Cady is the primary engine of the state economy—thanks to his weekly purchase of a Big Mac. According to a glossy new 217-page report from the Office of Creative Accounting and Selective Multipliers,
cronyism
State Budget Balanced Using Hopes, Dreams, and a 3rd Down Conversion
“There is no cost to taxpayers,” assured a senator while high-fiving a lobbyist and pointing to a spreadsheet labeled ‘Magical Revenue Streams.
cronyism
Missouri Legislature Passes Bill Letting All Citizens Keep Their Taxes to Pay Mortgages Since “Everyone Boosts the Economy”
“We realized billionaires aren’t the only job creators,” said one state senator.
cronyism
Jeremy Cady with Marc Cox on Stadium Subsidies
cronyism
Let the Teams Walk — Kansas City Will Be Fine
Not a single city that has lost a major professional team has gone into an economic death spiral.
cronyism
Missouri Doesn’t Need Stadium Subsidies. It Needs a Free Market.
When the government uses its power to benefit a select few, it abandons its responsibility to protect a fair, competitive market. It ceases to be a referee and becomes a partner in cronyism.
Jeremy Cady
Make America Free Again