Josh Hawley Courageously Defends Waste, Fraud, and Abuse to Protect You from Lower Taxes

“If seniors aren’t funding bureaucratic boondoggles, are they really American?” he asked while adjusting his Yale cufflinks.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold stand against common sense, Missouri Senator Josh Hawley has declared war on the greatest threat facing the nation: permanent tax cuts for working families and seniors.

Instead of supporting the Trump tax cuts set to expire next year—cuts that gave relief to millions of families—Hawley is bravely standing up for the little guy: specifically, the guy billing Medicaid five times for the same wheelchair.

“I will not sit idly by while middle-class families get to keep more of their paycheck,” Hawley thundered from the Senate floor. “Not if it means cutting down on the sacred American tradition of billing the government for services never rendered.”

Sources say Hawley grew visibly emotional when describing the possibility of stopping Medicaid payments to deceased recipients. “Some of these people spent their whole afterlife on the waiting list,” he said. “Let them rest in peace—on the taxpayer’s dime.”

The Senator’s office clarified his position further, saying, “We’re deeply concerned that without wasteful and duplicative Medicaid spending, we might have to let Americans keep more of their own money—and frankly, we just don’t trust them with it.”

Hawley’s brave stand includes opposing Medicaid reforms that would cut off benefits to illegal immigrants. Yes, the Senator from Missouri is now defending taxpayer-funded healthcare for non-citizens—because nothing says America First like footing the bill for someone who just crossed the border illegally.

When asked about the expiration of the Trump tax cuts and the potential tax hikes on seniors, Hawley reportedly responded, “Look, if seniors wanted lower taxes, they should’ve thought of that before aging.”

Critics argue Hawley’s logic is deeply flawed, but his defenders point to the Senator’s extensive background in not understanding economics. “This man once tried to regulate Google with a flip phone,” said one supporter. “He’s a maverick.”