Third Committee to Study Government Inefficiency, as Inefficiently as First Two
JEFFERSON CITY, MO — In a groundbreaking demonstration of government innovation, Missouri has announced the creation of its third committee this year to study government inefficiency.
The move, according to Capitol insiders, brings the total number of efficiency-focused bureaucracies to at least four—including an executive task force, two prior committees, and now the brand-new Select Committee on Government Modernization and Transformation (SCGMT), a name clearly chosen for its acronym strength.
“We are serious about cutting waste,” declared Senator Carla Whitmore, R-Fern Bluff. “Which is why we’re spending time and taxpayer dollars to hold more hearings, create more reports, and form yet another committee.”
Senator Dan Bradford, R-Saddle Springs, will chair the new effort. He previously served on the Senate Committee for Government Efficiency, which famously launched a public feedback portal and promptly drowned in angry submissions about everything except efficiency.
Bradford is undeterred. “We learned a lot from that first debacle,” he said. “Mostly that Missourians love complaining, and we love pretending to listen. So this time, we’re just going to skip the portal and go straight to drafting a 300-page efficiency recommendation written entirely by staff.”
When asked why a third committee was necessary, Senator Whitmore explained, “Look, the first committee couldn’t fix it. The second committee couldn’t figure out what to fix. And the governor’s office couldn’t agree on who to blame. So naturally, we formed a third committee.”
The House has also joined the action with its Task Force for Operational Redundancy and Fiscal Responsibility (TFORFR), led by Representative Buckley Grimsdale, R–Dry Hollow, who released a 42-paragraph statement vowing to eliminate government bloat “through targeted initiatives, comprehensive audits, and the steady application of buzzwords.”
Not content with just the efficiency committee hat trick, the Senate also unveiled a Select Committee on Property Taxes, chaired by Senator Susan Mayfield, R-Cowlick County, who assured voters the panel will “explore ways to ease the burden on farmers and families—after a thorough investigation that will definitely take 6–8 months and involve at least one catered retreat.”
Of course, conservative and free-market groups have been testifying - for years - on how to fix property taxes, reduce spending, stop corporate handouts, and finally phase out Missouri’s income tax.
If lawmakers had simply listened earlier the result would have been fewer hearings. No new committee. Actual progress. Now that would’ve been efficient.
Instead, year after year, lawmakers have ignored principled conservatives in favor of well-connected insiders pushing subsidies, stadium scams, and regulatory protection for their cronies. And when that predictably fails, the solution isn’t to change course—it’s to form another committee to study why the iceberg feels cold.
“If they had paid attention to all the times limited-government advocates showed up with actual ideas,” said one Capitol observer, “we wouldn’t need a third committee. We’d be halfway done implementing the solutions already.”
“This is about protecting the taxpayer,” Whitmore said. “And if we need a dozen committees to study how to do that, then by George, we’ll get it done. Slowly. And with great ceremony.”